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Tag Archives: opinion

Follow you, follow me – Flickr changes

I see that today Flickr has renamed ‘Contacts’ to ‘Following’.

I know a lot of people hate change, but this makes a lot of sense to me because that’s what it has actually always been in all but name. Contacts on Flickr have always been initially unidirectional (ie. not actually contacts) and it’s only when the other person makes the conscious (and optional) step to reciprocate that it becomes an actual contact in the true sense; up until that point you are merely following them. All Flickr have done is make it more obvious. It also eases the pressure that people feel to reciprocate when people add them as a contact.

‘Friend’ and ‘Family’ appear to be unchanged.

One thing that does seem to be a little clumsy though is that in your ‘Contacts List’ (Flickr obviously haven’t finished updating everything yet!), it only lists your contacts as ‘Following’, ‘Friend’ or ‘Family’. There’s no indication as to whether it’s reciprocal or unidirectional.

I’m sure Flickr will tweak it a little more, but my initial feeling is this is a long-overdue and positive change.

 

Posted by on 9th October 2013 in Opinion

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Gender roles

A little while ago I discovered The Advocate, with some of the articles really making me think and some of them blowing my mind, such as the one that suggested that the fundamental flaw in being transgendered and trying to pass as a women is that it is a game where the only time you are succeeding is when people do not realise you are succeeding. And If they become aware that you are succeeding, then you have just failed.

However, I’m not full time and moreover have no intention of becoming so. I’m not interested in transitioning from one society-approved binary state to the other. I think both genders have their advantages and disadvantages, and I’m greedy enough to want to pick and choose the best from both, just like I do my sexuality. An unpopular choice from the people who think I should “make my bloody mind up”, I guess. But why should I?
(Edit: Although, yes, when I am out in girl mode I most definitely do want to pass convincingly as such, so I guess that in some ways it does apply).

So when I read this article, I can kind of understand where the author is coming from. I can understand that a completely gay man could find that upsetting or annoying, but to me it sounds like heaven!

Funny old world. isn’t it?

 

Posted by on 15th September 2013 in Diary, Opinion, Transgender

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Wistful envy

I walked down to the local shops today to buy lunch, since it was a nice day. It’s around 10 mins each way, which is just right especially in this weather!

Whilst there I saw a gorgeous girl-next-door type; brown hair up in a neat pony tail, subtle yet perfect makeup, slim yet curvy body, a really lovely dark fitted above knee dress with rose print, block heel shoes. She looked absolutely stunning, but in a very natural and unpretentious way.

The thing is, though, I didn’t feel any desire despite her being what, a few years ago, would have been just my type. Instead I felt what can only be described as “wistful envy”*

Kind of surprised me a little, and yet at the same time sort of didn’t too. It’s all a bit confusing really, but possibly an indication of how my sexuality and mind-state are changing.

(* – I initially wrote “wistful jealousy”, as you can see from the URL of this post. But then I realised after a little googling, and stumbling upon this blog post, that what I experienced was far more ‘envy’ than ‘jealousy’ so I amended it. Although perhaps there was a small element of jealousy.)

 

Posted by on 18th July 2013 in Diary, Opinion

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Yours insincerely

I’ve long noticed that on Flickr, the comments all seem to be predominantly very polite and positive. People tend not to post anything rather than post something negative.

I’ve especially noticed this on pics of t-girls. Even when, to be brutally honest, they don’t actually look very good (to the extent it’s clearly a guy who has pulled on one of his wife’s dresses and plonked a wig on his head) people feel the need to build them up with gushing praise about how fantastic they look.

However, the corollary to this is that people then tend to get an artificially positive feeling about their pics and I’m not sure that’s particularly productive.

It also throws doubt onto all of the positive comments on my own Flickr.

 

 

Posted by on 24th April 2013 in Opinion

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More than a woman

The BBC published a very good article on transgenderism on the News Magazine area of their website entitled Richard O’Brien: ‘I’m 70% man’

Credit: BBC / Tommy Candler

The article, written by Jo Fidgen, quotes Richard O’Brien (of Rocky Horror fame) as talking about the gender spectrum, and how he sees himself as maybe 70% male and 30% female.

However, one part of the article really surprised and struck me. It said:
“O’Brien’s idea of a gender spectrum may sound far-fetched to many, but there is scientific research that backs up his position.”

I’m really surprised that in this day and age, where people readily acknowledge the concept of bisexuality, that the idea of a gender spectrum could be considered ‘far-fetched’. Certainly the idea of a sexuality spectrum is well established, encompassing gay, straight and bisexual. And even then, bisexual doesn’t automatically mean you fancy men and women equally. Surely then, the idea of a gender spectrum can come as no real surprise and is equally logical? One only has to look at the concept of a girl being a tomboy, or describing herself as “not a girly girl”, to see that it is so. And, despite being less socially acceptable to say it, the same is true of men too. However, men have far more pressure (in Western society at least) to conform to a gender stereotype.

Having said that, I read on the news today of Maria Toorpakai; The Pakistani squash star who had to pretend to be a boy. In the area of Pakistan that she lives, it is completely socially unacceptable for a girl to play such sports, or wear shorts, or be a tomboy. She was forced to pretend to be a boy (with her father’s consent and support) and won several tournaments before being ‘outed’. Since then she and her father have had death threats and persecution, just because she doesn’t conform to a gender expectation. I’m both heartened by her and her father’s courage, and dismayed by the actions of their persecutors.


(Please note that the links in this article are to the BBC website and may not be available to you if you are outside of the UK)

 

Posted by on 20th March 2013 in Opinion, Transgender

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