I’ve been a bit remiss about posting lately, so thought it was about time for an update.
Things are a little quiet in my life right now. In the middle of 2018 my current client closed their offices, but retained my services with me working remotely exclusively. Whilst it’s been nice not to have a commute since then, it’s been a little isolating. When you literally have no reason to even get dressed, it’s a little hard to summon the enthusiasm to get your make up on, which is why I haven’t been posting so many pics lately. I’m also going to a lot fewer Antiques & Collectables fairs, so again am not getting on my make up for those.
I think a lot of the problem is that it is just so damn easy to just pull on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a jumper and just pop down to the shops for bread & milk in guy mode. It feels so pointless getting my make up on for just that, and the lazy option is just to go in guy mode. Part of that is down to the strict boundaries that society places on what is acceptable when presenting. There was an interesting article in The Guardian about it published today, in fact.
Wearing my wig can get very hot and itchy, even with expensive wigs that are very light and airy. When I’m at home, I don’t leave it on. So if someone comes to the door, I would have a mad scramble to get my wig on to answer the door in girl mode, whereas if I don’t put any makeup on then I can pass as male when I open the door. So the simplest option is just to do that. And, of course, that simplicity then extends to popping down to the shops, and before you know it you’re slipping back into male presentation habits.
I visited my bestie over Christmas, so was obviously in girl mode for that, which is why you’re seeing a few more pics lately. And it also kicked me back into taking a few more pics too. It really isn’t too much of an effort to get into girl mode these days now – with all the laser and the like, it only takes a very quick shave and a dab of make up to look presentable, and I can do it in under 25 mins if I’m in a hurry. And even without makeup, I look fairly presentable although I would never go out of the house like this.
My family situation is still not so good – I visited my family on Boxing Day, presenting as male as demanded, and a bit of an argument erupted with a lot of simmering tension finally coming out. Not least my aloofness from my family and my reluctance to visit. We are in discussion about me visiting in girl mode, with a view to seeing them all more often, but I’m not sure now that is going to turn out.
I’m feeling at a bit of a crossroads right now, with me questioning a lot of things, not least why I post pics to Flickr, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I know that my fans & followers like to see them, but it just feels a little empty at the moment, with me questioning why I do it. The positive comments are very nice, and I get very few negative comments, but it never ceases to surprise me why 4000+ people choose to follow me on Flickr, and why I get so many views. And also why I have so few followers on other Social Media, or on this blog. Not that I go out of my way to gain new followers, mind. I don’t know – I guess I’m just asking myself why I do it.
Anyway, hopefully things will pick up in the New Year and I will motivate myself into going out more, and taking a few more pics for those people who want to see them, and maybe blogging more often.
I wish you all a very Happy New Year and hope that 2019 brings you everything that you hope and wish for.