Use the Spork

So... Which one of you is the fork?
Does not compute

Recently the wonderful Mr. George Takei posted the following pic (see left) to his “Oh Myyy” Facebook page. I had to have a big chuckle about this as it really rather brilliantly illustrates the complete lack of understanding that some people have. A total disconnect and “does not compute” error as they desperately try to translate what they are experiencing onto their own experience and mental framework. Or, in other words, trying to mentally bang a square peg into a round hole.

Eddie Izzard (my hero) summed it up pretty well with his anecdote about a shop keeper who had a similarly “does not compute” error over a simple purchase when Eddie tries to buy crisps (or ‘potato chips’ to my American readers) whilst wearing a dress and make-up.

It’s apocryphal, I’m sure, but amusing nonetheless

When I walk into a shop in a dress, 
I can see the fear in the shopkeeper's eyes. 
They can't deal with it. 
The signal goes through to the brain:
"No information on this. 
"Suggestions: Take all the Twixes out of the drawer. 
"Sellotape all the newspapers together." 

Eddie: [as shopkeeper, panicked] 
"What-what... what do you want?" 

Eddie: [as himself, innocently] 
"I want a packet of crisps." 

Eddie: [as shopkeeper] 
"What, you eat crisps? 
"Do you not want to shag crisps?"

A 'Spork'
It’s like 10,000 spoons

So I was trying to come up with a transgender equivalent.

Two pieces of cutlery and someone asking which one you are. And then I realised it was the “Spork”. A spoon and a fork.

If you google for it you will find loads of examples. In fact, you can even get ones that are a fork and knife at one end and a spoon at the other (in fact, I own one). But I’m not even going there and, also, from a practical point of view that is insane as you either have to tentatively hold it in the middle or else get food all over your hands. But I’m probably over-thinking this and it’s an extra degree of complexity we don’t need for this analogy.


Q: Are you a spoon or a fork?
A: Yes





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